India is like that only

Indian English is an interesting and ever surprising language. Different dialects of the language are spoken throughout the country and they all contain their own special features. As I have been staying in South India, in the state of Karnataka I have come to learn the dialects spoken here.

In the beginning it was very hard to understand anything and many almost awkward situations could have been solved more easily if we only would have spoken the same language. It is actually wrong to claim that the Indians don't know proper English, because actually the problem is that they know TOO proper English. Words that we might find old fashioned or too complicated are commonly used here. For example, you never buy anything here, you PURCHASE. For many of my volunteer friends this word was totally unknown and caused big confusion. In the bakery shops and in the post office they always talk about “parcels” which was also hard to get in the beginning. We never talk about people or persons, instead we use the word MEMBERS for everything. How many members? Fifty members is there. Today I'm cooking for thirty members.

It is also confusing when the Indians use different words for bigger amounts and numbers. Here we don't talk about millions and billions, not even thousands. Everything is lakh and crore. People often ask me about the population in my home country. To get myself understood by the Indians I have to say that the population of Finland is 50 lakh instead of 5 million. One lakh is one hundred thousand, ten lakh one million and one crore is ten million. Just to make it more complicated...

The problem is (this is what I think) that when the Indians are learning English in school they only learn the written language. Many students even study several subjects in English such as science, social, physics etc. You can find “Spoken English Class” ads everywhere. The students know fancy terms, but they won't manage simple conversations. That is why foreigners here might get the wrong picture about the Indians bad English skills. They know much, but their conversational language is not that good.

It is like that only. The word “only” becomes funny when used in every possible sentence and context. Do it like that only. Five rupees only. Go there only. It is there only.

Also the word “itself” is commonly used in every context. It is in Bangalore itself. We are playing cricket itself. It is made by the headmaster itself etc.

Go and come. Do it like that only. Go for Gonikoppa. Go and come. Here we are not wasting words on any unnecessary politeness. There is no “can you”, “could you” or “would you like”. It is straight forward orders, which might in the beginning seem a bit rude. But since there is no equivalent polite words in the Indian languages, it is only natural for them to command and use imperative forms. And you don't have to obey every time, a thing that we learnt after a while at work. You can always discuss the matters and sometimes the “orders” are actually suggestions made in the Indian way.

Uncle and Aunt are not only members of the family or close relatives. Every random stranger in a shop can be called uncle or aunt. The tailor is our uncle and the elder woman on the street is aunt or auntie. I've been called auntie several times myself. For younger people in your own age you can use akka or anna (big sis and big brother). There is no waiters or waitresses in restaurants, it is all about sisters and brothers and uncles and aunts. Sometimes it can be a bit confusing when you can't distinguish who are the real family members, but in the end it isn't even that important to make that division here. For every married Indian woman a man that is not her husband is anna, brother, and the same for men respectively.

There is so many interesting and intriguing details and habits in the Indian English language that it is impossible to cover them all at one time. Many funny and distinctive characteristics are also connected with the pronunciation of some letters and words. Like the T-sound, that is here in Karnataka pronounced as something in between t and d. Soold (salt), like thad etc. But these kind of things are difficult to understand without hearing the words in reality. After all, the characteristics of Indian English aren't even half as funny if you haven't been experiencing it yourself and learnt to deal with the differing ways of saying things and expressing yourself.

One day we were making power point presentations in one college here in Hunsur. After I had finished my presentation the principal thanked me for speaking so clear and nice Indian English. I didn't know whether to be delighted or horrified so I decided to be only amused. Sooner or later it will affect us all here in India, whether we'd like it or not...

Environmental Lectures in Indian English...